Selected Quotes

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. "
   --Mark Twain, Widely attributed, probably inaccurately since Mark Twain’s father died when he was eleven years old

"Faith is the worst curse of mankind, as the exact antithesis and enemy of thought. To rest one's case on faith means to concede that reason is on the side of one's enemies - that one has no rational arguments to offer.   "
   --Ayn Rand

"If you ride a horse sit close and tight, If you ride a man, sit easy and light. "
   --Benjamin Franklin

"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing. "
   --Benjamin Franklin

"Franklin’s Four Rules for Living It is necessary for me to be extremely frugal for some time, until I have paid what I owe. To endeavor to speak truth in every instance; to give nobody expectations that are not likely to be answered, but aim at sincerity in every word and action – the most amiable excellence in a rational being. To apply myself industriously to whatever business I take in hand, and not divert my mind from my business by any foolish project of growing suddenly rich; for industry and patience are the surest means of plenty. I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody. "
   --Benjamin Franklin, Written as advice to himself in 1726, on shipboard returning to Philadelphia from London. He was 20 years old

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. "
   --Sir Winston Churchill, Spoken at his first Cabinet meeting May 13, 1940 and again later that day to the House of Commons

"Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft, And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough, Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at 900 miles an hour.
It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,
The sun that is the source of all our power.
Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at 40, 000 miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way. Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars;
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.
We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
We go 'round every two hundred million years;
And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe. Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! "
   --Monty Python, by Eric Idle (lyrics) and John Du Prez (music) is a part of the 1983 Monty Python movie, The Meaning of Life.

"If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you. "
   --Lyndon B. Johnson, In Tennessee, an off-the-cuff observation he made to a young staffer, Bill Moyers.

"You have to recognize the realities of the world, and the realities of the world tend to be unpleasant, discouraging and depressing. "
   --Vaclav Smil, https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/04/25/magazine/vaclav-smil-int…

"Reality is for those who can't handle drugs "
   --Anonymous, Scrawled on a bathroom stall wall in my dorm circa 1976

"I don't want to be your friend anymore if you don't do this "
   --Donald Trump, Then President Trump to Vice President Pence on Jan 5, 2021, asking Pence to violate the constitution and declare Trump winner of the 2020 US Presidential election 

"If Landau would have been here he would have stopped you after twenty seconds "
   --Yakov Borisovich Zel'dovich 1914-1987

"Frequently in error, never in doubt (said of cosmologists...) "
   --Yakov Borisovich Zel'dovich 1914-1987, Many variations of this can be found, and Zel'dovich may not be the first

"This is the most tactless speech I have ever heard. The Germans are really a stupid people. They always do the wrong thing. "
   --Woodrow Wilson, On hearing a speech by German foreign minister Count Ulrich von Brockdorff-Rantzau at negotiations for what became the Treaty of Versailles 1919

"The advertising industry's prime task is to ensure that uninformed consumers make irrational choices, thus undermining market theories that are based on just the opposite. "
   --Noam Chomsky, Making the Future: Occupations, Interventions, Empire and Resistance

"Marketing is manipulation and deceit. It tries to turn people into something they aren’t – individuals focused solely on themselves, maximising their consumption of goods that they don’t need. "
   --Noam Chomsky, 10 years ago with 221 notes

"You're dad and I had a long talk and we agreed it would be best for all of us if you just stop being who you are and doing the things you love "
   --Weird Al, Weird :The Al Yankovic Story (2022), timestamp 5:00

"Let this be a lesson on the toxicity of anger "
   --Brad Pitt, The Bullet Train (2022), 29:45 in

"To commit suicide in Buffalo is redundant  "
   --Mark Twain, That famous line from "A Chorus Line" -- "To commit suicide in Buffalo is redundant" -- has been claimed by many authors. According to the original cast members and crew, Neil Simon was called in by Michael Bennett to serve as play doctor. In their soon-to-be-published book "The Longest Line: Broadway's Most Singular Sensation, 'A Chorus Line,' " Gary Stevens and Alan George tell the story of the record-breaking musical in the form of an oral history augmented by photographs. Neil Simon told the co-authors in an interview: "The joke about Buffalo. Sometimes I think I wrote it, and then I'm pretty sure that Mark Twain wrote it. I sometimes think it was in the show before me, and yet there's a part of my mind that says I wrote it, and there's a part of my mind that says it's an old joke that was written by somebody like Mark Twain, and it wasn't Buffalo, it was someplace else, like Philadelphia or something."

"Lewis:
They don't have a choice! Bob Rumson is the only one doing the talking! People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand. President Shepherd:
Lewis, we've had presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference. "
   --The American President 1995

"Luna Schlosser: Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh? Miles Monroe: Right. Luna Schlosser: So then, what do you believe in? Miles Monroe: Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous. "
   --Woody Allen, Sleeper (1973) [last lines] https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070707/quotes?item=qt0231359

"A wink from a pretty girl at a party results rarely in climax, Karl. But a man is a fool not to push a suggestion as far as it will go.   "
   --The Eagle Has Landed 1976, Col. Max Radl, The Eagle Has Landed 
 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074452/

"If you think you understand quantum mechanics you don't understand quantum mechanics  "
   --Richard Feynman

"Do you really believe the moon is only there when you look at it? "
   --Albert Einstein, physicist, Nobel laureate (1879-1955)

"I don't like it and I'm sorry I had anything to do with it. "
   --Erwin Schrödinger