"As drunk as October.
As sober as a day in May
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Selected Quotes of Mark Twain
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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"To commit suicide in Buffalo is redundant
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"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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