"When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it‘s longer than any hour. That‘s relativity.
"
Dorothy Parker
Submitted by cvining on
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.‘
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Money cannot buy health, but I‘d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
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Four be the things I‘d have been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
Submitted by cvining on
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound — if I can remember any of the damn things.
Submitted by cvining on
I‘m never going to accomplish anything; that‘s perfectly clear to me. I‘m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don‘t do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don‘t even do that any more.
Submitted by cvining on
You can‘t teach an old dogma new tricks.
Submitted by cvining on
Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Submitted by cvining on
I don‘t care what is written about me so long as it isn‘t true.