Dorothy Parker

I‘ve been too fucking busy – or vice versa. (in response to a letter from her editor asking for more stories during her honeymoon)

Of Ayn Rand‘s Atlas Shrugged, Parker said: “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

When asked to use the word horticulture during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-A-Sentence, Parker replied: You can lead a horticulture, but you can‘t make her think.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

I‘ve never been a millionaire but I just know I‘d be darling at it.

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it‘s the story of my life.

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I‘m under the table,
after four I‘m under my host.

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard. (Said when leaving hospital after an abortion).

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.