"I hate bigots and Baptists "

"It‘s pronounced “NEUmonia“. The “p“ is silent, like the “p“ in “pswimming“ "

"There‘s no future in Computer Science. Computers will be programming themselves soon. "

"The Beatles won‘t last. "

"How much fun does a priest have? Nun. "

"That‘s a kind of logic. Specious, but still a kind of logic. "

"You know you're getting old when you can't recall if it happened 20 years ago or 30. "

"Q. "Why did you wait so long to finally have children?" A. "Rita finally took seriously something I was poking at her in fun" "

"It's like hitting yourself with a hammer because it feels so good when you stop. "

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. "

"There's only one thing worse than growing older. Not growing older. "

"You pays your monies, you takes your chances "

"Horses sweat. Men perspire. Women glow.
Lol, when I said something about a sweaty summer day.  I was glowing thru my t-shirt. "

"Jesus H Christ "

"After dinner, Rita turned to Theron and said: you missed your chance. Theron: Chance to what (of course he replied). Rita: Chance to avoid growing old. The  only way to avoid growing old is to die young, and you missed your chance on that one. "

"It's in the script "

"Don’t take moderation too far, moderation should not be taken to extremes.” "

"The Irish have no culture. "

"He who walks in the middle of the road gets run over by both sides "

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? "

"The Puritan ethic is the constant fear that someone, somewhere, is having a good time. "