"You're dad and I had a long talk and we agreed it would be best for all of us if you just stop being who you are and doing the things you love
"
Beldar Conehead
Submitted by cvining on
If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench would be great.