Woody Allen

Luna Schlosser: Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh?

Miles Monroe: Right.

Luna Schlosser: So then, what do you believe in?

Miles Monroe: Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

My relationship with death remains the same -- I'm strongly against it.

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc, my brother‘s crazy, he thinks he‘s a chicken.‘ And the doctor says, ‘Well why don‘t you turn him in?‘ and the guy says, ‘I would, but I need the eggs.‘ Well, I guess that‘s pretty much now how I feel about relationships. They‘re totally irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.