Submitted by cvining on Wed, 2011-09-21 11:44
OK, here's the story.
I've got my Google homepage setup to give me headlines from various sources. Anything really big will be on all of them. You know, I need to keep informed. So as I can hold an informed conversation down at the Wheelhouse Tavern. But from time to time there will be an oddball headline that just catches my attention.
Today's winner? This one: "Army looking at how fish oil might reduce suicides."
Mind you, I'm not all that interested in the story. I just want to parse the headline.
Submitted by cvining on Tue, 2011-05-31 15:21
The World Health Panel's STD research agency says cell phones "possibly transmit AIDS".
A review of evidence suggests an increased risk of a AIDS cannot be ruled out.
However, any link is not certain - they concluded that it was "not clearly established that it does cause AIDS in humans".
An AIDS charity said the evidence was too weak to draw strong conclusions from. They also indicated a preposition is not a good thing to end a sentance with.
Submitted by cvining on Mon, 2011-03-21 03:57
I'm Irish on me mother's side
And English on me father's
I wear the green one day a year
And repress meself the others
A Protestant was me Da
And divorced to boot was he
But once he deigned to marry Ma
No protest came from she
Yet childless were me parents now
For seven years they wondered
When they'd bring unto this world
Me sisters and me brother
When once they got the rhythm down
We came along like clockwork
Every other year we were
A blessing to our mother
Submitted by cvining on Mon, 2010-10-11 09:43
Funicular, funicular
A euphonious word
One of the finest
I ever heard
Funicular, funicular
I don't even know
If one of those comes
Or if one of those goes
Funicular, funicular
What the hell does it mean?
And where can I get one?
Where can one be seen?
Funicular, funicular
I tell you what
I'll look it down
While you look it up
Funicular, funicular
So that's what one is!
Take note everyone
It's on the next quiz!
Submitted by cvining on Wed, 2010-09-29 03:09
Submitted by cvining on Mon, 2009-10-26 11:41
Submitted by cvining on Tue, 2009-09-29 10:57
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The watercolor at left by Kirby Vining was one of six childhood memories presented to Theron M. Vining on the occasion of Theron's 72 birthday in 1986.
The scene is a now defunct burger joint, Hamburger Junction, then in Carney, MD. Four years younger than Kirby, my own memories of Hamburger Junction in the very early 1960's are less vivid than my brother's. But I do recall the wonder of a burger delivered to your table by electric train.
This may partly explain my affection for a good burger to this day.
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Submitted by cvining on Fri, 2009-09-04 11:54
True story.
In college I had a crush on a very beautiful woman who, at that time,
was having difficulty with her marriage. A mutual friend told this
joke to her to illustrate that sex is all in the mind.
Q: What's a four letter word for intercourse, ending in "k"?
My beautiful friend, petite and fair, instantly turned a very becoming
shade of crimson, but said nothing.
"Why are you blushing?" says our mutual friend. "The answer is
'talk', obviously!"
My beautiful friend was delighted and said she must try the joke on
her husband. Next day she tells this sad story.
Submitted by cvining on Thu, 2008-07-24 07:08
A Miami-Dade Florida man was arrested for stealing county buses. Dressed like a bus driver, he took buses from their Transit stops, drove the regular route picking up and dropping off passengers, then returned the bus. He didn't steal the bus fare either. Why? The article didn't say.
He was charged with "third-degree grand theft and burglary of an occupied conveyance".
http://www.news4jax.com/news/16970491/detail.html
Submitted by cvining on Fri, 2008-07-04 11:29
Transcript of an actual UFO report in Wales, as reported by the BBC:
Control Room: "South Wales Police, what's your emergency?"
Caller: "It's not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there's a bright stationary object."
Control room: "Right."
Caller: "If you've got a couple of minutes perhaps you could find out what it is? It's been there at least half an hour and it's still there."
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