You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

Adventure is just bad planning.

It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won't go.

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

I try never to write more clearly than I am able to think.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.

The way to get good ideas is to get lots of ideas, and throw the bad ones away.

We are dealing with two opposing forces, the scientific power of food production and the biologic power of human reproduction. Man has made amazing progress
recently in his potential mastery of these two contending powers...there can be no permanent progress in the battle against hunger until the agencies that fight for increased food production and those that fight for population control unite in a common effort.

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken.' And the doctor says, 'Well why don't you turn him in?' and the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. They're totally irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.